The importance of a balanced life

tightrope-walker.jpgImage from Oxford Dictionaries

It can be tough trying to live a good life. Most of us want an existence that favours our own happiness and contentment, but struggle to achieve them, repeatedly falling off the proverbial wagon into gluttony, lethargy, burnout, or any other calamitous outcome. We can be way too hard on ourselves, pursuing idealistic lives that are wonderful in theory, but unrealistic in practice, with every failure followed by the harshest of self-criticism, and then dismal self-loathing. Voltaire famously said that “the best is the enemy of the good,” summing up perfectly what we should be aiming for—not perfection, but good.

This is the idea of living with balance—not an idealistic dream in which you exercise six times a week, eat only the healthiest of foods, and spend every spare minute learning, but a life in which you exercise just enough, eat healthy foods just enough, and spend just enough time expanding your brain. A balanced life is achievable because it acknowledges your weakness for couch-lounging, fatty foods and trashy entertainment, while recognising that you’re also making the effort to accomplish healthy goals. It’s the patient, sympathetic teacher that you had at school, as opposed to the cane-wielding psychopath who would happily tear shreds off you for the slightest indiscretion.

History is peppered with stories and philosophical concepts on the importance of living with balance. Greek mythology tells the tale of Icarus, a prisoner on the island of Crete whose father fashioned a pair of feathered wings in order to make their escape. He offered his son a stark warning: “don’t be complacent and fly too low, as you’ll drown in the sea. Also don’t get too cocky and fly too high, as the sun will melt your wings.” This is clear advice to maintain a balance between the two—the course in which both extremities are avoided, and survival is ensured. Icarus ignored his father, melted his wings in the heat of the sun, and drowned.

Greek philosophy offers us the golden meanadvising to navigate the desirable middle between the extremes of excess and deficiency. Socrates himself taught us that a man should know “how to choose the mean and avoid the extremes on either side, as far as possible.” Buddhism has a similar concept—the middle way (samatā)—which states that nirvana can be achieved by walking the line between sensual indulgence and withdrawn asceticism—neither too much pleasure, or too little. There’s examples from Islam too, with theologian al-Ghazali believing that “what is wanted is a balance between extravagance and miserliness through moderation, with the goal of distance between both extremes.” Even the Temple of Apollo was inscribed with “nothing in excess.”

 

A balanced life is vital for happiness, so how does this translate for modern folk? There’s a few key areas things to consider.

Exercise

Unless you’re training for an ultra-marathon, you probably don’t need to run fifty miles a week. A common reason that people fail to maintain exercise habits is because they set the bar too high, filled with excited motivation during planning, but succumbing to crippling laziness when the time arrives. Starting small is a great way to build long-lasting habits—a short run a couple of times a week, with gradual increases of distance.

Exercise needs to be balanced with relaxation. Our muscles repair themselves when we’re resting, allowing us to recover for another session. Too much exercise will result in exhausted burn-out, and too much rest in negligent, wheezing infirmity. Exercise and rest go hand in hand, and we must find the right balance if we want to maintain excellent physical health.

Food

It’s obvious that you should take the advice of every doctor, nutritionist and personal trainer on the planet, and eat healthily. But unhealthy foods are damned delicious, and by depriving yourself of them all the time, you’re missing out on a great deal of joy (and mental health benefits). Extreme, unbalanced approaches usually end in failure—95% of people who undergo weight loss diets end up regaining the weight within 1-5 years. There’s also the risk of developing a debilitating eating disorder, which is eight times more likely for weight-loss dieters.

All you really need to do is make yourself a healthy eating plan that consists of actual food instead of pre-processed garbage, and allow yourself a few delicious treat meals to satiate your natural cravings. You’ll undoubtedly fall off the wagon, but provided you’re sticking to it for the most part, you’ll have a good balance between healthy and unhealthy food, without having to become a mini-Hitler and goose-step your way to failure.

Entertainment

When it comes to entertainment, we’re spoiled as toddlers at Christmas. Netflix offers us an immense selection of movies and shows across an eclectic range of genres, wrapped up in a user interface that is ridiculously easy to use. These days, we rarely have to wait from week-to-week to watch a TV season, instead slithering into our well-worn sagging spot on the sofa, and consuming the whole lot in the course of the day, only rising to grab food from our poorly underpaid Uber Eats driver.

Our phones are also brimming with entertainment—Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Candy Crush, Angry Birds, WhatsApp, Twitter—most of them designed to trigger our dopamine response, and keep us hooked.

There’s nothing wrong with a little entertainment, but when we spend large portions of our day mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, or sit for hours staring at trashy, mindless TV shows—glistening trails of drool running down our chins—we’re sacrificing precious time on activities that allow us to grow as humans: reading, writing, cooking, spending time with friends, meditation, hiking, painting, designing, or any other creative activity that requires patience and effort.

It’s vital that we become more conscious of how much time we spend entertaining ourselves with mindless junk, in order to create space for activities that make us more compelling, complex, and fufilled humans.

Relationships

Solid personal relationships are a key component of a happy life, with the potential to proffer us with extra years, fight off stress, and improve our immune system. Lonely people are more prone to depression, pain, fatigue, and tend to have higher blood pressure in later life.

We need good relationships if we want to be healthy, but it’s crucial that we carve out regular chunks of time for ourselves, so that we maintain a sense of freedom. Being in a stifling relationship—in which your partner or friend is so reliant on you that they’d crumble into dust on your departure—can have the unfortunate effect of making us feel like a superior parent, rather than an equal. Time spent with friends must be balanced with time spent for ourselves—there’s nothing wrong with rejecting a social invite if you’d rather stay at home and finish off the bewitching book that you’ve been reading.

Work

Unless you truly love your work, or are temporarily under pressure to get something done, every additional hour spent at the office is wasted time that could be spent on activities that actually make your heart sing. You probably don’t need to work until 7pm every night in the hope that your boss with lavish you with additional riches, because believe it or not, more money can actually damage your good character.

A good work/life balance will help to keep your stress levels in check, while furnishing you with the time needed to pursue habits that are good for your wellbeing, not just your wallet.

**

A good life is achievable, we just need to construct and maintain a careful harmony between the various aspects of our lives—a juggling act that requires practice, and regular assessment. Living with balance is allowing yourself to indulge in unhealthy pleasures, comfortable in the knowledge that you’re regularly doing the right thing, and so staving off shame-inducing guilt. Instead of a rigid strictness—highly tense and susceptible to breakage—living with balance makes us softer, more agreeable, and more likely to achieve the goals that we set for ourselves, giving us the breathing room that we need to be healthier, happier humans.

Why less is more on Medium

antique-author-beverage-958164.jpgPhoto by rawpixel.com from Pexels

I’ve read a ton of articles on how to gain a following on Medium, and I assume that the writers among you have done the same. Most of them offer the same piece of advice: write as much content as you possibly can. I assume that this is either a factor in Medium’s algorithm for promoting articles, or simply the shotgun technique. Either way, acting like a content mill only serves to make my stories shitter.

Let’s take a step back for a moment and consider some of the purposes of Medium, in their own words:

  • Welcome to Medium, where words matter.
  • Ideas and perspectives you won’t find anywhere else.
  • Medium taps into the brains of the world’s most insightful writers, thinkers, and storytellers to bring you the smartest takes on topics that matter. So whatever your interest, you can always find fresh thinking and unique perspectives.

My conclusion is that Medium is about telling engaging, fresh stories, which people find useful. It’s all about the quality of the stories themselves.

As a regular human being with a full-time job and an average brain, I struggle to post five engaging, valuable stories a week. The more stories I write in a week, the worse they are collectively. So if Medium is all about exceptional quality, surely it’s better to write two or three great stories, instead of five mediocre ones? At least I’ll be proud of the great stories, and won’t feel like I’m being whipped by some story-pushing slave master goblin.

The desire to succeed is strong, and I feel like I’m under constant pressure to keep on contributing in order to build an audience. The result is crappy, mediocre work, which benefits few people. By following the advice of the so-called Medium successes, all I’m really doing is watering down my content and damaging the credibility of the platform as a whole.

I genuinely want people to get some value out of my stories, and it’d be nice to have a decent readership too. The question is – am I willing to sacrifice quality for quantity? Should I sell out? What’s more important to me – being a popular, mediocre writer with 10,000 followers? Or an awesome writer with only a 1,000?

Personally, I think that credibility and self-worth is more important than success. The contented feeling that washes over me after posting a satisfying story has infinitely more value than a bunch of virtual claps, and at the same time, there’s more chance of it being beneficial to the readers, even if they’re few in number. It’s foolish and unhealthy to continue stressing myself out by attempting to post five times a week, in order to gain a following.

Earlier today I learned about a tool called The Hemingway App, which reviews your work and passes judgment on what is and isn’t readable. The fact that such an app exists is a shocking example of how desperate people are for success. Whatever happened to having your own writing style, of being proud of your own uniqueness? Writing is an art-form given to us by the gods, and here we are pasting it into apps in the hope of getting a few more readers. You might be a beautiful writer with a fresh and engaging style, a style that the world would love to read. Such apps are ruining that by encouraging you to conform to hard and fast rules, recommended by writers who see nothing but dollar signs in their eyes.

It’s also tough finding the time to read and learn from other people’s content if you’re doing nothing but tapping out your own. Our curiosity is what motivates us to seek out and absorb new ideas, which after being mixed and sloshed with existing ones, can emerge as something profoundly original.

I want to be proud of the work that I produce. I want to write for the sake of writing, not for the number of claps that it receives. You can take your “five stories a week” advice and put it where the sun doesn’t shine, which is precisely where it belongs. Quality triumphs over quantity, don’t cheapen yourself or your integrity for quick-success life-hack nonsense. You’re better than that.

**

Enjoy this blog? Please share it using the buttons below, it’s a massive help 🙂