How to beat procrastination

Cartoon sloth

Screen Shot 2018-11-28 at 6.31.44 pmPhoto from My Time News

Excessive procrastination is a sure-fire way to fuck up your life. Every time we put off the difficult and worthy thing in front of us, we’re walking the path of a trembling coward, destined not for excellence, but mediocrity. Life is full of growth-packed challenges, and if we consistently lack the courage to tackle them with immediate, unrelenting perseverance, then precious time is being thrown to the wind, and our habit of putting things off is a little more bolstered.

We procrastinate because we don’t want to feel stupid, to experience that distressing feeling of confusion, sitting there immobilised, waiting for your colleagues to start questioning your competency. We procrastinate because we fear failure, of ballsing something up so badly that our reputation is forever tarnished, waiting for the imminent invite to our boss’ office where we’ll be ruthlessly sacked. We procrastinate because we’ve been taught from a young age that unbroken happiness is a birthright, and in our foolish entitlement, can’t understand why we ever have to experience negative emotion. We procrastinate because it’s a deeply ingrained habit, which is fucking difficult to overcome.

Whatever your reasons might be, you have the ability to change. Insidious bad habits are formed over time, and just need to be replaced with a more positive habit. In the case of procrastination, it’s simply getting on with it. Those who appear brave aren’t fearless, they just continue despite their fear.

Here’s some ways in which you can defeat procrastination:

Learn how to catch yourself

One of the more difficult obstacles to overcome is catching yourself in the act of procrastination. Auto-pilot is great when we’re kicking goals, but not so great if we’re checking our Facebook feed for the 20th time that day, in an attempt to delay a painfully challenging task. You can fortify your conscious attention through mindfulness meditation, an exercise that is brimming with amazing benefits. The more mindful you become, the less time you’ll waste on valueless pursuits.

Murder distractions

Don’t literally kill your colleagues, however much you might want to. Instead, purchase a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, to blissfully drown them out. Close the 50 tabs that you have open in Chrome, to bring your focus to the single important thing that you have to do. Use Block Site to prevent your future-self from sabotaging your success, by disabling all of the distractions that you love to undertake. Temporarily murder anything that might send you a notification, including your emails, messaging apps, social media, and carrier pigeons. Those dirty, head-bobbing grey bastards will have to wait a couple of hours to coo in your ear.

Do a little dance, make a little love

It’s easy to get caught up in a perpetual cycle of hard-work, and not celebrate our achievements. Missing out this important step can make you feel like a forsaken slave, destined for a life of servitude. The next time you accomplish a formidable thing, leap from your desk like a spirit-possessed Evangelical Christian, and praise Jesus for your success. If you’re a little less unhinged, you might consider quietly smiling to yourself, acknowledging the fact that you’ve knuckled down and got the job done.

Don’t believe your own stories

Convinced you’re going to fail? That’s just a story that you’re telling yourself, and nothing more. Whether you choose to believe that story is entirely up to you, and it can be the difference between just getting the fuck on with it, or more procrastination. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – a relatively new field of behavioural therapy – have a method called cognitive defusion in which you can alter your relationship with such destructive thoughts.

Take the hardest step

The first step is always the hardest. Sometimes the task in front of us can appear unsurmountable, but this is just fear whispering into your earholes. Taking the first step launches a momentum that might sustain you through to the end of the challenge. You’ll be too busy getting on with the exercise to worry about failing. Try not to hesitate, just jump right in and see what happens. You’ll quickly realise that it isn’t that scary.

If the task in front of you really is mammoth, consider breaking it down into more manageable chunks. This will make it much easier to start.

Take it easy on yourself

Understand that you’re going to fail, repeatedly. A deep-seated habit isn’t going to be replaced with ease. This process will be hard work, and without a little self-compassion, you’ll be punishing yourself unnecessarily. Respond to failures with kindness, and your motivation to doggedly return to the task will be enhanced. Unless you’re a PVC-clad masochist, stop whipping yourself.

Consider why you’re procrastinating

You might be procrastinating because you see no value in what you’re putting off. Maybe, like so many of us, you’re in a job that’s about as enjoyable as stepping on lego. Without a sense of personal meaning for the task, your motivation is bound to be stunted. Perhaps it’s finally time to discover your passion and move onto another job?

Slow down

Pull the reigns on those horses of yours, so that you may savour your time instead of manically rushing through it. It’s difficult to experience something at breakneck speed, not to mention stressful. Paradoxical as it may seem, we’re more happy and productive if we slow down.


With the right tools and a lot of effort, you can finally tame the voracious beast that is procrastination, transforming your day from one of forlorn bitterness, to air-punching, rip-roaring achievement.


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The positives of embarrassment

Embarrassed man

1_s7mWD-jN__vjdg_XufqYfwBy Omar Alnahi on Pexels

At some point in our lives, every one of us has done something so shudderingly embarrassing that we’d pay a good sum of money to reverse time and change it. Maybe you were the kid who called your teacher “mum” at school, and the sound of merciless laughter still rings in your ears today. Perhaps you completely lost your train of thought while speaking publicly, and revealed yourself as the idiot that your peers always knew you were. Maybe it was a wardrobe malfunction, in which a smidgeon of scrote was found delicately peeking through your unzipped fly.

Whatever the situation, being embarrassed fucking sucks, and the fear of experiencing such a situation influences our behaviour in negative ways. We avoid a range of potentially embarrassing situations, from something highly risky such as public speaking, to less dangerous circumstances like putting an unorthodox idea forward to our colleagues. Visual stories of what could go wrong appear in the back of our minds, zapping the courage that we need to act, and killing promising opportunities.

The evolutionary purpose of embarrassment is to clearly display regret to the people around us. We do something embarrassing, involuntarily reveal the emotion, and this communicates our repentance. If we committed a social-taboo and didn’t show embarrassment, our audience might think us heartless. As with every other emotion that we experience, embarrassment is incredibly useful. The problem occurs when our devlish, overzealous foresight causes us to avoid potentially embarrassing situations, which often contain the possibility of personal growth. We need to be vulnerable in order to live a fulfilling live. If you never put yourself out there, how will you ever achieve anything?

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joyโ€”the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” โ€• Brene Brown

Embarrassment is solely about being accepted in our social group, but ironically, those of us who get embarrassed are liable to be liked and trusted by others, making embarrassment a powerful social glue. Even though you may feel like a complete imbecile when you inevitably mix up your words while publicly speaking, your audience will be developing an increased appreciation for you, because vulnerability is fundamentally human and loveable. Nobody wants to be friends with a cold, stand-offish android who rarely reveals emotion, let alone gets embarrassed. Vulnerability is key to fitting in with your social group. We might imagine everyone maliciously sniggering at our embarrassing faux pas, but it’s actually making you more likeable.

“I’ve been embarrassing myself since about birth.”โ€• Phil Lester

We worry so much about fitting in that we shuck and jive our way through life, making more laughable excuses than a schoolboy truant. Sure, there’ll be times when you take a risk and end up looking a fool, but your determination and fortitude will be strengthened, with your peers appreciating you a little more. Everyone makes embarrassing mistakes, we just need to learn how to accept them with grace, and remind ourselves that they’re necessary hazards on the road to improvement.

Don’t let the fear of embarrassment dictate your actions, even if you do fuck up, you’re still winning.


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