- A carton of eggs signed by Sylvester Stallone during the filming of Rocky (five missing).
- A black forest gateau richer than Jeff Bezos’ wildest dreams.
- A tomato that looks, feels and smells like Lance Armstrong’s testicle after the cancer got it.
- A cantaloupe mushier than Ryan Gosling’s personal notebook.
- A giant petrified cucumber used by William Wallace as a battering ram in the sacking of York.
- A whiskery catfish caught by Erwin Schrödinger, that may or may not be dead depending on whether the freezer is open.
- A stash of jelly from Beyonce’s girl band days, which she doesn’t think you’re ready to eat.
- A tin of hotdogs that fell out of Frances McDormand’s bag on the set of Fargo, so briny they could de-ice the entire state of Minnesota.
- A slew of acrid Catalonian capers, pilfered from Salvador Dali’s flourishing back garden bush.
- A packet of crunchy ladyfingers that Kate slipped to William on the day of their wedding.
- The 12-inch halibut vigorously slapped across the face of anyone who wants to join the Hollywood Screen Actor’s Guild.
- A rugged quesadilla that Don Quixote once mistook for an arrowhead.
- The last packet of black eyed peas before they sold out at the turn of the millennium.
- A giant quiche that was once the cozy home of Leo DiCaprio’s rickety tortoise.
- The one chocolate that the greedy cunt Tom Hanks didn’t get to.
- An overly yeasty sourdough baked by Clint Eastwood to celebrate his audacious escape from Alcatraz.
- A home-grown pepper that a hobo stole from Carlos Santana while they were going loco down in Acapulco.
- A human bicep imprinted with the teeth marks of Anthony Hopkins.
- A box of Cornflakes once used as shrapnel by the Unabomber.
- A giant portobello mushroom fluffier than Johnny Depp’s shih tzu after a fresh bath.
- A ferocious Mordorian goose felled by Ian McKellan after doing battle with it for three days and three nights.
- A beef and chilli taco once clutched by Adele’s oozing eczema fingers.
- A pork chop glop that slides about like Seal on an iceberg.
- The vat of babaganoush whipped up by Yasser Arafat to celebrate the end of the first Gulf War.
- A bowl of oxtail soup that once met the carbuncle elbow of Karl Marx.
- A colossal batch of beef kibbeh that Otto Frank made to celebrate his escape from Auschwitz.
- A butter bean cuisine whipped up by a fat boxer in his heyday.
- A white Haiku roll, watched by the hungry god Thor, gobble! Watched no more.
- A half-eaten tray of venison stolen from Duran Duran on the set of Hungry Like The Wolf.
- A lemon meringue more zesty than a bucket of mating snakes, baked by the one and only Carrie Fisher.
Table of contents
Time is quickly running out for the human race — unless we make drastic changes in the way we live, our planet’s temperature will pass the point of no return, with devastating global consequences¹.
This article is part of a comprehensive guide on what you can do to help fight global warming. Millions of people can make a huge impact, but we must act right now.
This article focuses on the second most effective area for tackling the climate crisis — your food.
Stop throwing away food
Paul Hawken—author or global warming book Drawdown—believes that food waste is the single most important food-related action that you can take as an individual. Roughly a third of the world’s food gets lost or wasted every single year⁶.
Plan your meals
Take some time out to plan your meals for the days ahead. There’s some great meal planning apps that you can use to make things easier, such as Mealime. This will ensure that you only buy the necessary ingredients (with fewer impulse buys), and more importantly, the right amount of ingredients.
Though bulk buying is convenient, it’s been shown to lead to more food waste⁷, so try to shop more frequently when possible. Before leaving for the shops, quickly open your fridge and pantry to see what you have left.
Pick misshapen produce
When you’re shopping, pick the “ugly” misshapen produce instead. Though it tastes exactly the same, our penchant for perfection means that it’s much more likely to go to waste. You can also save money by purchasing discounted, “final sale” food.
Use everything that you buy
Try your hardest to use every single ingredient that you buy before it goes out of date. This awesome tool enables you to quickly get recipes based on what you already have in your home. Older foods should be consumed before newer ones—eyeball and sniff tests can usually tell you whether it’s still good to eat; the sell-by date is far from full-proof. You might also consider prioritising your food based on how quickly it’ll spoil, with hardier foods left for later in the week. If you find yourself with “old” food, research how to still make use of them.
Use as much of your food as possible. Broccoli stems can be shredded to make slaw. Meat bones can produce a delicious stock, as can vegetable scraps. A quick Google search of your ingredients can teach you how to use every part of the food that you buy.
Don’t chop away the skin of your produce—it contains tons of nutrients⁸.
Preserve your food
Instead of throwing away your leftovers, put them into a clear container as a visual reminder whenever you open the fridge, or consider using a different preservation method such as freezing, pickling, drying, or curing. You’ll be saving precious time and money.
Store your food correctly
Keep your fruits and vegetables fresh for longer by learning where they should be stored. For example, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, garlic and cucumbers should be not be refrigerated. Certain foods can also spoil others, by producing ethylene gas. These includes bananas, avocados, tomatoes, peaches, pears and green onions. By storing your food effectively, it’ll be fresher and more nutritious.
Blend a smoothie
Nutrient-packed smoothies are a great way to use up old ingredients, or parts of food that you might usually throw away. Chuck in something sweet like a banana or some strawberries, and you’ve got yourself a glass of deliciousness.
Use an app
There’s lots of apps that can help to prevent food waste. Flashfood lists local food re-sellers, and Food Rescue US enables you to easily donate excess food to hunger relief organisations. It feels wonderful to know that your leftovers are feeding somebody in a desperate situation.
Reflect, and donate
When you do throw something away, consider the reasons why. Did you buy too much of it? Every piece of disposed food is money from your pocket, and carbon in the atmosphere. Discarded food is best given to local food banks (find them here), or composted to make fertiliser for your plants.
Change the way you eat
Less meat and dairy, more fruits and vegetables
Changing the way that you eat is also an incredibly effective tactic for fighting global warming. It’s as simple as this: eat less meat and dairy, and more fruits and vegetables.
Food production is responsible for a quarter of all co2 emissions, with meat and other animal products making up half of that³. Cutting meat and dairy from your diet can reduce your carbon footprint by an astonishing two-thirds². Though a complete boycott is unreasonable, we can certainly cut back a lot, particularly with red meat. Places like the US, Europe, and Australia eat much more meat than is required for a healthy diet¹². Meat and dairy provide only 18% of our calories, but use 83% of Earth’s farmland⁴.
Eating a beef burger just twice a week for an entire year has the same environmental impact as driving a petrol car for roughly 1500 miles (2500km), or heating a UK home for three months². Those numbers are absolutely insane—if you want to help save the planet, avoid beef and lamb at all costs. You might consider trying some of the new meat alternatives that are appearing, such as Beyond Meat (it’s pretty damn close to the real thing).
You can discover the impact of different foods using this carbon footprint calculator.
Lost protein from meat is best made up with plants such as beans, legumes, nuts, and grains. If you must eat meat, go for chicken or pork.
More wild seafood
Seafood caught in the wild generally has a small climate footprint¹³, making it a climate-friendly source of protein. Much of the world is overfishing though, so it’s important to use an app such as Seafood Watch to check whether the food is sustainable.
Adopt an eco-friendly diet
The Western meat-heavy diet is making huge numbers of people fat and sick, causing roughly 11 million deaths a year⁵. By eating healthier, eco-friendly meals, you’ll lose weight, have more energy, reduce your risk of chronic disease, have better focus, and experience better moods⁹. Your diet is fundamental for your happiness.
One of the hardest things about changing your diet is knowing what to eat instead. Thankfully, there’s tons of websites that list eco-friendly recipes. Greener Ideal is a good option, or you can search for other sites in Google using this link. Vegan recipes are also a good bet, and can be tastier than you might expect.
If you’re eating out, go for the occasional veggie option.
Ban palm oil
The United Nations Environmental Programme (UNEP) estimates that by 2022, 98% of Indonesia’s tropical forest will be destroyed for palm oil production and illegal logging. As tropical rainforest is removed, there’s fewer trees to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen, and the newly-exposed peatland releases massive quantities of stored carbon¹¹. Palm oil is awful for our environment.
Tropical forests can provide a massive 24% of the climate change mitigation that we need to meet Paris Agreement goals¹¹. This won’t happen if we continue buying products that contain palm oil.
Take a few seconds to check the ingredients of your products. Palm oil is one of the most common types of vegetable oil, so if your product contains vegetable oil and has some saturated fat, it’s almost certainly palm oil. Common products that contain palm oil include bread, chips/crisps, ice cream, pizza bases, instant noodles, shampoo and chocolate. Try to purchase items that contain a different type of oil—olive oil is a healthy option.
Eat local, in-season food
Locally grown, in-season food doesn’t have to travel the world to arrive on your plate, making it an environmentally-friendly choice. It’ll be fresher, therefore tastier and more nutritious, and there’s less chance of pesticides and preservatives being used. Locally grown produce is undoubtedly healthier.
Farmer’s markets are a way to source local food, and the hard-working farmers in your community will get better margins from your purchase, instead of having to sell their produce at reduced prices to profit-hungry supermarkets. You can find your local farmer’s markets here.
Grow your own food
Home-grown food doesn’t need to be shipped thousands of miles to get to your plate, it’s right there for the picking. This makes it fresh, delicious, lacking in nasty pesticides, and incredibly nutritious. You’ll be saving money too.
You don’t necessarily need a garden to grow your own food, it can be as simple as a tomato or chilli plant on your apartment balcony, which also happen to brighten up the space. If you do have a little land (even the tiniest plot will do), you can consider growing potatoes or lettuces.
Check out this awesome guide to get started.
Our food habits play a crucial role in tackling climate change, but only if we make a concerted effort. When millions of people change the way that they eat, our planet will become significantly less choked. Be the person who makes a difference, and help to save our planet.
- Matt McGrath, Final call to save the world from ‘climate catastrophe’
- Nassos Stylianou, Clara Guibourg and Helen Briggs, Climate change food calculator: What’s your diet’s carbon footprint?
- J Poore and T Nemecek, Reducing food’s environmental impacts through producers and consumers
- Tim Lewis, Have we hit ‘peak beef’?
- Felicity Lawrence, The way we eat is killing us — and the planet
- Green Indy, 8 High Impact Ways to Fight Climate Change as an Individual
- Victoria K. Ligon, Shop More, Buy Less: A Qualitative Investigation Into Consumer Decisions That Lead To Food Waste In U.S. Households
- Healthline, 20 Easy Ways to Reduce Your Food Waste
- Unity Point, 10 Reasons Doctors Talk About The Need For Good Nutrition & Diets
- Wikipedia, Social and environmental impact of palm oil
- Christina Nunez, Deforestation Explained
- Prof Walter Willett, Prof Johan Rockström, Brent Loken, Marco Springmann, Prof Tim Lang, Sonja Vermeulen, et al. Food in the Anthropocene: the EAT–Lancet Commission on healthy diets from sustainable food systems
- Julia Moskin, Brad Plumer, Rebecca Lieberman and Eden Weingart, Your Questions About Food and Climate Change, Answered
It can be tough trying to live a good life. Most of us want an existence that favours our own happiness and contentment, but struggle to achieve them, repeatedly falling off the proverbial wagon into gluttony, lethargy, burnout, or any other calamitous outcome. We can be way too hard on ourselves, pursuing idealistic lives that are wonderful in theory, but unrealistic in practice, with every failure followed by the harshest of self-criticism, and then dismal self-loathing. Voltaire famously said that “the best is the enemy of the good,” summing up perfectly what we should be aiming for—not perfection, but good.
This is the idea of living with balance—not an idealistic dream in which you exercise six times a week, eat only the healthiest of foods, and spend every spare minute learning, but a life in which you exercise just enough, eat healthy foods just enough, and spend just enough time expanding your brain. A balanced life is achievable because it acknowledges your weakness for couch-lounging, fatty foods and trashy entertainment, while recognising that you’re also making the effort to accomplish healthy goals. It’s the patient, sympathetic teacher that you had at school, as opposed to the cane-wielding psychopath who would happily tear shreds off you for the slightest indiscretion.
History is peppered with stories and philosophical concepts on the importance of living with balance. Greek mythology tells the tale of Icarus, a prisoner on the island of Crete whose father fashioned a pair of feathered wings in order to make their escape. He offered his son a stark warning: “don’t be complacent and fly too low, as you’ll drown in the sea. Also don’t get too cocky and fly too high, as the sun will melt your wings.” This is clear advice to maintain a balance between the two—the course in which both extremities are avoided, and survival is ensured. Icarus ignored his father, melted his wings in the heat of the sun, and drowned.
Greek philosophy offers us the golden mean, advising to navigate the desirable middle between the extremes of excess and deficiency. Socrates himself taught us that a man should know “how to choose the mean and avoid the extremes on either side, as far as possible.” Buddhism has a similar concept—the middle way (samatā)—which states that nirvana can be achieved by walking the line between sensual indulgence and withdrawn asceticism—neither too much pleasure, or too little. There’s examples from Islam too, with theologian al-Ghazali believing that “what is wanted is a balance between extravagance and miserliness through moderation, with the goal of distance between both extremes.” Even the Temple of Apollo was inscribed with “nothing in excess.”
A balanced life is vital for happiness, so how does this translate for modern folk? There’s a few key areas things to consider.
Unless you’re training for an ultra-marathon, you probably don’t need to run fifty miles a week. A common reason that people fail to maintain exercise habits is because they set the bar too high, filled with excited motivation during planning, but succumbing to crippling laziness when the time arrives. Starting small is a great way to build long-lasting habits—a short run a couple of times a week, with gradual increases of distance.
Exercise needs to be balanced with relaxation. Our muscles repair themselves when we’re resting, allowing us to recover for another session. Too much exercise will result in exhausted burn-out, and too much rest in negligent, wheezing infirmity. Exercise and rest go hand in hand, and we must find the right balance if we want to maintain excellent physical health.
It’s obvious that you should take the advice of every doctor, nutritionist and personal trainer on the planet, and eat healthily. But unhealthy foods are damned delicious, and by depriving yourself of them all the time, you’re missing out on a great deal of joy (and mental health benefits). Extreme, unbalanced approaches usually end in failure—95% of people who undergo weight loss diets end up regaining the weight within 1-5 years. There’s also the risk of developing a debilitating eating disorder, which is eight times more likely for weight-loss dieters.
All you really need to do is make yourself a healthy eating plan that consists of actual food instead of pre-processed garbage, and allow yourself a few delicious treat meals to satiate your natural cravings. You’ll undoubtedly fall off the wagon, but provided you’re sticking to it for the most part, you’ll have a good balance between healthy and unhealthy food, without having to become a mini-Hitler and goose-step your way to failure.
When it comes to entertainment, we’re spoiled as toddlers at Christmas. Netflix offers us an immense selection of movies and shows across an eclectic range of genres, wrapped up in a user interface that is ridiculously easy to use. These days, we rarely have to wait from week-to-week to watch a TV season, instead slithering into our well-worn sagging spot on the sofa, and consuming the whole lot in the course of the day, only rising to grab food from our poorly underpaid Uber Eats driver.
Our phones are also brimming with entertainment—Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Candy Crush, Angry Birds, WhatsApp, Twitter—most of them designed to trigger our dopamine response, and keep us hooked.
There’s nothing wrong with a little entertainment, but when we spend large portions of our day mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, or sit for hours staring at trashy, mindless TV shows—glistening trails of drool running down our chins—we’re sacrificing precious time on activities that allow us to grow as humans: reading, writing, cooking, spending time with friends, meditation, hiking, painting, designing, or any other creative activity that requires patience and effort.
It’s vital that we become more conscious of how much time we spend entertaining ourselves with mindless junk, in order to create space for activities that make us more compelling, complex, and fufilled humans.
Solid personal relationships are a key component of a happy and balanced life, with the potential to proffer us with extra years, fight off stress, and improve our immune system. Lonely people are more prone to depression, pain, fatigue, and tend to have higher blood pressure in later life.
We need good relationships if we want to be healthy, but it’s crucial that we carve out regular chunks of time for ourselves, so that we maintain a sense of freedom. Being in a stifling relationship—in which your partner or friend is so reliant on you that they’d crumble into dust on your departure—can have the unfortunate effect of making us feel like a superior parent, rather than an equal. Time spent with friends must be balanced with time spent for ourselves—there’s nothing wrong with rejecting a social invite if you’d rather stay at home and finish off the bewitching book that you’ve been reading.
Unless you truly love your work, or are temporarily under pressure to get something done, every additional hour spent at the office is wasted time that could be spent on activities that actually make your heart sing. You probably don’t need to work until 7pm every night in the hope that your boss with lavish you with additional riches, because believe it or not, more money can actually damage your good character.
A good work/life balance will help to keep your stress levels in check, while furnishing you with the time needed to pursue habits that are good for your wellbeing, not just your wallet.
A good life is achievable, we just need to construct and maintain a careful harmony between the various aspects of our lives—a juggling act that requires practice, and regular assessment. A balanced life gives you permission to indulge in unhealthy pleasures, comfortable in the knowledge that you’re regularly doing the right thing, and so staving off shame-inducing guilt. Instead of a rigid strictness—highly tense and susceptible to breakage—living with balance makes us softer, more agreeable, and more likely to achieve the goals that we set for ourselves, giving us the breathing room that we need to be healthier, happier humans.
The apocalypse is upon us, and it’s going to be about as pretty as a car-ravaged possum. Environmental scientists have been desperately screaming at the world for years about global warming, and despite their best efforts, we’ve ended up with a final, ominous plea for change. Without immediate and expensive corrections, there’ll be “rapid, far-reaching and unprecedented changes in all aspects of society”. The warning couldn’t be more be vehement – if we want to survive, we’d better start making some changes.
It’s easy to feel small and insignificant in the face of such a task, but 7 billion people can make a big collective impact. Change can only start with us.
“Change only happens when individuals take action. There’s no other way, if it doesn’t start with people.” – Aliya Haq, Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC)
Below are some effective ways that you can help to combat climate change.
Agriculture is responsible for up to 30% of greenhouse gas emissions, with a large portion of that coming from livestock. Our eating habits are incredibly important in the battle against global warming.
The primary thing that we might consider is eating less meat, a hard thing to do because it’s so god-damn delicious. Reducing the meat in our diet has a ton of benefits: lower risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, obesity and cancer; you’ll save money, and you won’t be contributing to an industry that treats animals in a horrifyingly cruel way. Farming livestock is also badly inefficient, because the animals need to consume more food than they actually end up producing. Not to mention the cow’s prodigal farting capabilities – humorous to witness, but awfully damaging to our planet. Until lab-grown meat becomes an affordable possibility, you might want to consider opting for some alternative forms of protein for your meals.
It seems obvious, but actually eating the food that you buy is another big improvement. Roughly a third of the food that we produce gets thrown away. A third! That’s an appalling amount of waste, especially when you consider that somebody dies of hunger every second that passes. The next time you’re whining about some minor inconvenience, remember that fact. Wastage can be prevented by buying the amount of food that you actually need (saving you money), and refrigerating or freezing your leftovers for another time.
Food transportation is another factor in this equation, and it can be combatted by choosing to buy locally-sourced food. This is great for the environment, and you’ll be supporting local farmers instead of handing over your hard-earned cash to the voracious supermarket giants. A quick search in Google should illuminate the locations of local farmer’s markets.
Finally, choosing to eat organic food reduces the need for heavily polluting modern industrial practices, and the animals get treated more humanely. Smiley animals are the best animals.
Cutting down on your power-usage is an effective way to give climate change a mighty kick in the testicles. You might consider switching to a utility company who has an excellent green track record, or be particularly mindful of purchasing energy-efficient appliances.
Does your apartment really need to sit at a frosty, penguin-pleasing 18 degrees? Just a few degrees of difference can save you a lot of money, and you’ll be helping to fight global warming in the process. Similarly, consider clothing yourself in a hoody instead of blasting the heating during winter months.
Some appliances are as hungry as an Iranian at the end of Ramadan, and these should only be used in emergencies. Your dryer is such a device; if possible, hang your clothes out instead. The water heater is another voracious appliance, which can be called into action less frequently if you take shorter hot showers. Or even better, heed the benefits of cold showers and switch to those instead.
Perhaps the most obvious thing that you can do is to recycle. Stop being lazy and walk to the recycling bin.
Stop buying so much unnecessary shit. The short-term pleasure that you feel when making a purchase could be resulting in long-term pain – accumulating stuff has shown to cause a decrease in well-being, and the third-world factories that pump out the limitless, cheaply made junk that you’re buying will continue to be profitable. Don’t continue to feed the beast. Consider becoming a cool-headed minimalist.
“The things you own end up owning you.” – Tyler Durden
Sadly, our governments have a great deal more power than us, making them the most effective weapon against climate change. They won’t make alterations unless prompted by the people who they govern – us. Engage with your local MP and address your growing concerns. Join or arrange a protest, amplifying your voice to a roaring chorus. Remember that ultimately, power lies with the people. If enough of us shout, we will be heard.
Just 100 of the world’s companies are responsible for 71% of global emissions. Unless we start protesting against reckless organisations such as these, nothing will happen. Profits will continue to rise, and our planet will choke more fiercely.
It isn’t too late for us to save our planet, but we must start making immediate changes. The little blue and green globe that we live on cannot continue to be suffocated by our negligent behaviour. The time to act is now.
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