- Are these seats heated? It really helps my hemorrhoids.
- My shower is broken and I have a date. Can I shower at yours?
- When I turn your interior light on and off really quick it feels like we’re in a disco.
- [Returning from McDonalds] They ran out of cups, but were kind enough to put my milkshake into my pockets.
- Do you mind if my cobra wraps himself around your headrest?
- We need people for our weekly Quorum. Are you Jewish? You look Jewish.
- Can you put the air conditioning on? I’m recovering from swine flu and sweating like a pig.
- I like you man. Wanna meet my dog? He’s the only other friend I have.
- Mind if we listen to Infowars?
- Do you know what this rash is?
- How do you think that lizards were able to take over the world?
- Donald Trump should have won the nobel peace prize.
- What’s your favourite secluded spot to take passengers?
- [sneezing and spluttering] my mum always held my hand when I was sick, do you mind?
- Do you know anywhere that sells large flammable crosses?
- I lost my virginity at 32. When did you lose yours?
- I love your mole. You remind me of a young Clint Eastwood.
- Let’s do this again tomorrow, except with wine and chocolates.
- You have a lovely steering wheel.
- Do you think it’s ok to have sex with your cousin?
- I hope you’re not one of those liberal snowflakes because they really turn me off.
- Did you know that you can buy machetes on Amazon for as little as $20?
- If God forgives all, can’t we sin however we want?
- Are you a coffee or a tea man? Just so I know for tomorrow morning.
- I hope you’re circumcised.
- If you were stranded on a desert island and had only one animal to have sex with, which would it be?
- Isn’t it funny how much your gear shift looks like a penis?
- My cobra loves getting into real tight places, if you know what I mean.
- I love your leather seats! It’s so easy to clean blood off.
- I’ll give you an extra $25 if you massage my leg.
- Imagine how cool it would be if The Purge was actually real hahahahahaha
- Have you ever tasted someone else’s blood before?
- Do you know what chloroform smells like?
- Would you rather be buried or cremated?
- Your skin is incredible. You should be grateful you’re wearing it.